Dance Moms

a show on lifetime about a talking whale letting out her anger about her weight on small children and mentally disabled parents alike. the show takes place in a dance studio, where a white whale had managed to evolve to the point of being able to walk on land. the whale managed to find a dance studio to cower in and bemoan its fate. the dance instructor was working late hours, and saw the whale was in need of help, and took the whale under her wing.

the whale began to learn basic cognitive functions from the dance instructor. less than a year later, the whale began to speak fluent english. it also spent the time learning dance moves, however it could not manipulate its enormous body to achieve such dexterous movements. when it was ready, it ate the dance instructor and inherited her position.

and so. the show records the whales efforts to teach children how to dance. it lashed out its anger at the smallest mishaps, unleashing her anger and traumatizing these children. the mothers watched, their simple minds unable to comprehend the cruelties their daughters face. when they did understand, the made a measly protest and were verbally -ssaulted by the whale. in front of there own children. it was decided that, upon the creation of the show, the only parents worthy of being on dance moms must have severe mental disabilities, so the none of them would have the common sense to withdraw their daughter and quit.
typical fan of dance moms: hurr durr dance derp.
a show on lifetime about miss abby, the moms and the girls. don’t forget cathy. she likes to make fights and she progressively grows older and more annoying.
jaz: i want to go watch dance moms. what channel is it on?
sonia: its on lifetime
a mother who usually shows up at compet-tions in skinny jeans and fancy expensive shoes that you can’t afford. often wealthy.
will do absolutely anything to get their child to be better than yours. pampers her daughter. her daughter has the nicest material items.
the dance mom usually attempts to look about 10 1/2 years younger than their actual age. will wear sl-tty dresses to a casual outing. wears only the finest brands of makeup. daughter is usually at her dance studio for 20 more hours than your daughter and always practicing. a dance mom will start drama at the drop of a hat, even literally.cries all the time, especially when her
child dances. buys her daughter the best of dance clothes. doesn’t tend to acknowledge her non-dancing children if she has more.
their natural habitat is anywhere, but they are commonly found on the streets of l.a or someplace in ny. strict on their daughters. will get drunk with other dance moms at a national compet-tion. usually drives a rich car like a bmw. low in cl-ss and are known to say snotty comments to other moms or children. their laughs are famous for being annoying as f-ck. commonly friendly with studio directors and will pity the sh-t out of them to favorite her child(ren). forces her child(ren) to do dance events, even if its helping the studio, no matter what her child(ren)’s opinion(s) are. knows everything about everyone and cooks a lot and tries to be a perfect family like on tv. plastic surgery is common in this species.
person a: “dear g-d, jeannie just baked ms. lauren brownies…”

person b: “oh sharon, you know that jeannie kisses the -sses of all the teachers and directors to get her daughter, avril, to outshine and be the favorites instead of our children, matthew, angelina, and emily. she is a very big b-tch and dance mom.”
overweight mothers that try to make their daughters live out their dream of being a dancer, since they failed at it. a very group of egotistical women who live off their rich husband, while they sit on their fat -sses barking orders at their daughters. these types of people should be avoided at all cost usually can spot them in suburbans. ironically their daughter will more than likely end up just like their mothers and do the same thing to their kids, basically a repeating cycle of failures.
“i would never force my daughter to do something she didn’t enjoy”.

“dance moms are lame”