demitri martin
hillarious comedian with best poker face. mediocre guitar player, but has h-lla funny jokes
if i have to go up in a building, ill take the elevater instead of the escalator. because one time, i was riding the escalator, and i tripped, and i fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.
a month ago, i got a cactus, and a week later, it died. then i thought to myself, “d-mn, im less nurturing than a desert.”
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people who refuse to accept defeat despite the total destruction of their ideology with verifiable and irrefutable evidence. common denominators: the perpetually poor by choice, chronic whiners, externalists who always blame others for their lot in life rather than accept that the bulk of everyone’s problems start from within. bottom rungers who keep looking for […]
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where one spins his d-ck in a circlular motion while standing or dancing. “dude i just paid some guy 20 bucks to get d-ckacoptered in the face.”