Democratic Attack Machine


code for “oooh, please don’t hurt me, i’m a weak, powerless victim, who mistakenly believes my party has my best interests in mind. did i say that, oops, i mean, let me flush the economy down the toilet, and bring about the end of days, and destroy the planet, so that i can somehow make all the stupid people i know right, the way it’s a good plan to buy lottery tickets in order to become wealthy.”
as soon as newt used the phrase “democratic attack machine,” we liberally punched his head and gullet, before our eyes glazed over. it was quite a rush from the pacifist bullsh-t we usually engaged in. the bean sprouts tasted extra crunchy that night, so we decided to buy automatic weapons with our welfare checks.

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