Derpes

1. an internetly transmitted disease, known as an i.t.d. symptoms include:

– sweaty fingers
– uncontrollable desire to say “derp”.
– hunger
– fatigue
– cyber s-x sessions as to propagate the disease.
– chat sessions as to propagate the i.t.d

how to cure:
no known cure has been found, yet. derp.
anonymous: we owned him. derp.

anonymouse: we sure did. lmf–.

anonymous: nice name . derp

anonymouse: oh f-ck, you have derpes, don’t you? derp.

anonymouse: fffffuuuuuuuuuuu
a terminal disease that took its namesake from herpes. can be contracted as a result of prolonged exposure to / conversation with trolls or even just overly stupid people.
if contracted, stay indoors and contact your gp immediately, but do not – under any circ-mstances – converse with them for any longer than needed, lest you infect them in turn with derpes.
patient (on telephone): derp lol doc i thnk i gotted derpes
doctor (on telephone): good lord. are you capable of any coherent speech?
patient: wat is cohurrent
doctor (infected): herf i dunno lol
a contagious form of right-wing rhetoric. an intellectual disease infecting the republican party.
after the gop debates, every one of the candidates has been infected with derpes.
a degenerate disease caused by being in the presence of ugly b-tches. known symptoms include an uncontrollable desire not to f-ck, and to have quite imaginative and horrifyingly disgusting visual presence, generally involving something unimaginably repulsive to the nasty–ss, uninfected partner.
nasty b-tch #1: are you going to f-ck me or not?
normal dude: actually, i can’t. i’ve just been diagnosed with derpes. i’ve got these gross pus-filled boils on my shaft.

some time later…

nasty b-tch #2: can we f-ck now?
normal dude: i can’t, i’ve got derpes. highly contagious. my d-ck oozes nasty goop when it’s near p-ssy. doc says i’ve gotta stay away from women, and try to be gay for a while.
the outcome of what happens when a derp gives a person the herps.
“so i went to the gyno today and i found out i have herpes.”
“i bet that derp boyfriend of yours gave it to you, huh?”
“sh-t, your right. so i don’t have herpes, i have derpes.”
symptoms: r-t-rded twisted facial expressions and outrageous nonsense coming out of you like word vomit
everyone on atp has derpes
a s-xually transmitted disease p-ssed from r-t-rd to r-t-rd.
dude, i think marianna has derpes. she did it with manuel last night and he’s a r-t-rd!