Designated Dick


n. a male who is selected, before weekend activities begin, to be the booty call for the night. the designated d-ck is similar to a f-ck buddy and friends with benefits but does not necessarily mean that he is either one of those. this predetermined male does not have an obligation to party with or see the female earlier in the day. designated d-ck only means that at the end of the night the male will leave or meet up with the female to partic-p-te in s-xual activities.
“i need to make sure i have my designated d-ck situated so i know i’m getting it in this weekend.”

“gotta have my designated d-ck this weekend to make up for this awful week!”
the designated dave/driver is the person -ssigned to transport a group of drunk friends to and from a party. it’s considered a sh-tty job because:
a) you’re sober
b) you have to deal with drunk people while you’re sober

‘designated d-ck’ exists because any tom, d-ck or harry can be chosen to fulfill the role and being chosen or being ‘forced to volunteer’ feels like an unwelcomed blap to the forehead.
(friends sitting in a room together)
person a: so who’s all going to the rave on friday?

person b: me, like f-ck!
person c: me
person d: me, i’m going to get so wasted.
person e: me
(everyone turns to person e)
person a: isn’t it your turn to be designated d-ck?

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