Dijook Syndrome
this disease that was named after it’s first “victim.” effects of the include sweating urine as well as forgetting the first twelve letters of the alphabet. most people burdened with the chronic disease eventually fall into a mental stupor wherein they believe everyone (on a day-to-day basis) walks much faster than oneself.
dr. theodore alcroft, who has studied the phenomenal ailment for over fourteen years, made this statement regarding ds:
“it ds has struck the hearts of many families who must cooperate with loved ones who have fallen to the unfortunate syndrome. signs of pre-ailment are little to none; us at the long island research facility strongly urge potential people who begin to sweat urine to immediately donate large sums of money to our research fund in order to find a legitimate cure.”
statistically, ds has increased 120% since its initial sighting back in 1993. much information regarding the disease is unknown and scientists are now starting to conduct research as cases are sharply increasing.
“dude, everyone walks to fast.”
-concerned- “can you repeated the alphabet for me please?”
“i don’t have to prove anything to you”
– anonymous dialogue from initial outbreak of dijook syndrome.
august 14, 1994
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