dockyard oyster
noun. the kind of huge, vile, cancerous-looking greeny coughed up and spat out onto the ground by british naval dockyard workers. called an oyster because of the solid, greeny, snotty, rubbery centre surrounded by a lighter, watery fringe of phlegm, and the fact they just cling and stick around for ages. british sailors have inventive imaginations, so you couldn’t expect this to go un-named for long.
officer at the gangway: bo’sun’s mate, what’s so funny?
bo’sun’s mate: it’s able seaman smith, sir, he slipped on a dockyard oyster when he was cr-ppers last night and broke his leg! in front of the captain’s wife! f-cking brilliant!
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