driftwood
noun: an erection that is wasted or not put to use; wood that never finds its port and is thus worn away/beaten and eventually gives up.
when rhiana, the neighbor, asked if i wanted to “watch a movie” i thought for sure we’d get down. to my chagrin, we literally watched a movie while my driftwood bobbed in vain on a hopeless, lonely, sea.
morning wood that lasts late into the afternoon.
you: “dude…i had the most embar-ssing moment of my life this afternoon.”
friend: “your girfriend saw your d-ck?”
you: “naw dude…i had a bad case of drift wood and i forgot to tuck it when i went to work.”
friend: “i am so…sorry. can i get you anything bro?”
you: “only my self respect…..”
a random b-n-r, a stiffy out of nowhere
chris l. was wearing his umbros in cl-ss and got up to leave and low and behold he had a bad case of driftwood for everyone to see!
an older guy that drifts around and tries to hang out with random crowds in order to gain easier access to young girls, especially at the workplace during lunch or smoke breaks.
tj: “look at ole man grant going to lunch with those intern girls.”
martin: “yeah that’s drift wood trying to wash up on amber’s beach.”
drift·wood (drĭft’wŏŏd’)
n. a solitary individual who aimlessly bounces between others on a crowded dance-floor engaging in obnoxious behavior and unwanted advances.
girl i’m sick of this club, too much driftwood to deal with.
n. 1) a type of elongated skateboard with good lateral skidding action used for tricks.
2) s-xual tumesence.
dude! i totally put some rad decals on my driftwood last night! want to see?
ahhh. no. not really.
the erection that one finds themselves with over the course of the school day. this erection always occurs when ones mind wanders off from the lecture at hand during the last 2 minutes before the period is over. this occurs as a means to create the awkward “b-n-r tuck” or “b-n-r shield” created by notebooks to prevent it from being seen. the b-n-r is not a direct result of any s-xual fantasy, but as a way of your body playing the “let’s see how awkward this can get” game.. tricky b-st-rd
“what is he doing with his notebooks?”
“oh dude, he totally has drift-wood and is shielding”
“ryan has a b-n-r!” (yell to everyone in the hall)
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