Earlweed
a dandelion-like weed that has earl pickles’ face. often it is not quite grown revealing a bald piece in the middle of its head. it is often killed by spraying a blow torch at it, firecrackers, or some other form of weed poison. earlweed greens are also delicious to eat. so when you see a flower you just can’t defeat, chances are it is an earlweed!
earl: oh no, there’s earlweeds all over the yard. time to break out the big guns. (he gets out a blow torch) take that!
nelson: hold on, that’s ugly. you don’t want to kill a defenseless little weed! see how much it looks like you? (he picks one up and shows it to earl)
earl: yes, they’re pretty. but they must be destroyed! (he throws the torch at them. the torch explodes destroying all the earlweeds) take that! victory is mine!
opal: what have you done? you destroyed our garden. why? (she starts crying) there were some pretty flowers there, and you ruined them.
nelson: they were earlweeds. they look like grandpa earl. you see? cute!
earl: are you hungry? i think she made some earlweed soup. we put those bad boys to good use! long live earlweed!
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