east greenwich

1: small, wealthy, suburban town in central rhode island. home to many alcoholic trophy housewives and sheltered, spoiled brats. a town where bmws outnumber brain cells, and the number of black residents can be counted on one hand.

2: the lone republican refuge in an otherwise democratic state

3: the “other” white town. see: barrington
brandon: “did you hear they’re cutting the music program at the high school so they can build a third gym?”

jason “what do you expect, it’s east greenwich.”
small town in rhode island filled with skinny rich kid drug dealers that don’t carry guns, and girls that like to shop & tan.
we want our townies to go back to cranston, and we beat barrington’s test scores every time.
those f-cking e.g. kids are such elitist b-st-rds.
n; a small town located in the center of rhode island that contributes cultural, intellectual and monetary -ssets for the entirety of the smallest state in the country. eg is home to successful ceo’s, the govenor of ri, noted artisans, professional nfl and nba atheletes, students who can continually boast the highest standardized testing scores and a diverse collection of noted professionals who also create the data which makes eg the wealthiest town of ri. downtown eg is lined with acclaimed galleries and restaurants as well as beautiful harbor views. kids who have a problem with the town are generally community members who can’t meet the $200,000 income needed to “fit in” with the lower/average quartile and suffer severe psychological distortions/defense mechanisms in the form of rage.
since i am a “townie” and my family doesn’t match the average east greenwich profile i am going to develop a skewed definition of eg and use such rage as a defense mechanism to avoid making an effort to utilize the wealth of resources the town provides.
actually the best town in rhode island, the richest, and smartest. full of wealthy,hard-working people such as many doctors, lawyers, celebrities, and professional athletes(also home of the governor) who live in some of the nicest houses in ri. being the richest town in rhode island is not a bad thing, just badly stereotyped by people that are jealous. in eg, the “townies” act all poor and ghetto, but they really aren’t. they just happen to be not as rich as most eg people. east greenwich high school has the top test scores in ri year after year, and is repeatedly named the best hs in ri. even though eghs is small, the eg avengers compete well in ri in every sport, against schools of all sizes. barrington and nk are eg wanna-be’s. eg is really not elitist or sn-bby, everyone just says it is so they complain/be jealous, like people from north kingstown and coventry.

there are 2 types of rhode islanders: those who live in east greenwich, and those who wish they lived in east greenwich
nk kid: where are you from?
eg kid: east greenwich
nk: rich sn-bby b-st-rd.
eg: someone’s jealous…don’t you have some weed to be smoking?
small town in ri where you can’t go anywhere without knowing someone. parents are afraid to let their kids go to providence because there are too many “stabbings and gun shootings” there. in eghs, no one talks to someone their not friends with, no one says h-llo to an only an aquantaince. the cheapest house to buy is 400,000 and its not even new. teens here are so wealthy that they pretend theyre not by getting high and drunk every night-and their parents give them the money to do so. barrington thinks theyre eg, but eg has the a+ test scores.
ashlee- hey mom i’m going to a party at kyle’s tonight in east greenwich.
mom- oh i like kyle he’s cute, do you want me to give you some money for anything? is $150 okay for tonight?

-at kyles-
kyles mom- okay which pair’s up next for beer pong?
small town in rhode island typically stereotyped as being rich, spoiled, bratty, unfriendly, and elitist, but is only made that way by the people who whine about how eg sucks all the time. the school’s mascot is the “avenger”, a guy in armor on a horse with a sword.
jane doe: oh my gawd, i hate east greenwich, everyone is so snotty and rude and stupid…and oh my gawd did you see that ugly jacket whatshername was wearing?!?! i think i’ll spread nasty rumors about her and be surprised when people call me a catty gossip.
geographically the 16 square miles of east greenwich is located in the center of the state. it is the eighth oldest town in the state and was home to many early american patriots. the town was established in the 1600’s. the land upon which east greenwich sits was originally owned by the pequot indians and was acquired by king charles ii in 1644. the general -ssembly incorporated the town in 1677.

the town is bounded on the east by narragansett bay and four hills roll up from the coast to the west greenwich town line. the downtown area of east greenwich was initially settled to support the surrounding farming area. as the town grew, so did the commercial center. the protected cove brought trade ships from the far corners of the world and gave safe harbor to local fishermen.

as east greenwich grew as a trade center so did the need for goods and services, both for the townsfolk and those p-ssing through. industry flourished with the manufacture of textiles, brushes, machinery and and shipbuilding. this has left behind a legacy of fine historic buildings for people of the 20th century to enjoy. the town of east greenwich is proud of its’ heritage and its’ national historic district.
i’m an old rich widow of 35 husbands and i live in east greenwich.

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