East Stroudsburg

an -ss backwards town in monroe county, pennsylvania for several centuries and counting with an interesting mix of locals who work for peanuts and have no health insurance, they can usually be found at the cinder inn wondering why they are getting priced out of the area. deeper thinkers here often ponder why outsiders are moving in before realizing someone with a backhoe decided to put a major highway through the center of town awhile back.

you’ll also find legions of newer residents from the greater new york city area, many of whom are minorities that commute to the city and make real money, keeping the local bus company, martz’ share holders smiling in the process. don’t bother to subscribe to the local newspaper, the pocono record, which should only be purchased in a pinch if your training small pets and desperately need a piddle pad.

school taxes are way high since everyone tries to get friends and neighbors a job with the corrupt school board, where they do very little while making a killing, cranking out some of the dumbest seniors in the western hemisphere; insuring the walmart in town is always staffed with a full supply of talent. you can always move here since there’s plenty of foreclosures in countless developments to insure any unfortunate potential home buyers with a minimal down payment and pulse there very own pocono dream home/nightmare in northeast pa.
resident #1: east stroudsburg is a corrupt, sorry excuse for a town.

resident #2: it could always be worse, you could’ve been born here.
probably one of the whackest towns you will ever have the displeasure of being in or hearing of. its small and has way too many people in it because everyone from ny insists on moving here. dont bother driving anywhere on the weekends…theres too many tourists causing mad traffic. its either filled with a) dirty -ss icp dirtbags who live for sitting outside the mall on friday nights b) “minorities” who actually put some excitement in the newspaper but arent minorities anymore c) hicks…enough said or d) sk-nky -ss dirty std having little sm-ts. its boring as f-ck so everyone does the same sh-t….drink, smoke, or f-ck. and then the 5.0 stay up our -ss but its not our fault there aint sh-t else to do. besides go to walmart….or the excitment filled stroud mall. stop coming here mother f-ckers!
“i really need to get out of f-cking east stroudsburg”
east stroudsburg north is located in the small little town of bushkill pa. the small town consists of two high schools that are bitter rivals and both suck at sports. north cannot play football for their lives :] . south does steroids :] we have two mcdonalds two wendys two perkins and a flea market !! everyone in this town swears that they are right off the ave, jamaica ave that is. oh holla. and everyone has a fake accent bc they are either from queens, bk, or the boogie down bronxx. you can find your teachers always at the sarah street grill screaming “b-tches b-tches b-tches” or screaming bc theyre best friend slapped them bc they wouldnt make out with each other. as for the kids we are all either drunk high or s-xed up and not p-ssing the pssas. (pa placement p-ssing test ;; study island hollla) white people are the minority. even though half us think we are black anyways.
miss householders a hoee in east stroudsburg; 1000 dollars cash money in east stroudsburg, tu madre in east ‘burg. wat up wat up
1. east stroudsburg is a borough in monroe county, pennsylvania, united states. it is located in the poconos region of the state. originally known as “dansbury”, east stroudsburg was renamed for geographic reasons when the delaware, lackawanna, and western railroad opened a station in town.

its population has shown a slow, steady escalation from 2,648 in 1900 to 3,330 in 1910 to 6,404 in 1940 to 9,888 in 2000, according to census reports.

2. a nice quiet town that has been corrupted by an onslaught of stupid -ss new yorkers. the town is predominantly white but you wouldn’t know it looking at the sc-m that pollutes our streets and retail stores. the area was once the home to small families and older folks and it was an ideal place to have and raise children. now its full of drugs, crime and murder and a bunch of new yorkers who think they’re cool and can do whatever they want just because they’re not from around here and they’re bored. go home and leave us alone!
resident #1: east stroudsburg is so pretty in the fall.

resident #2: it used to be before the new yorkers got here.