even

among multiple meanings, even is used sometimes on the internet (most prominently tumblr) as the ability to understand an idea that may seem too complicated for that person’s intelligence, most often in a negative manner.
example: i can’t even!
word added to a sentence when you want to stress something hysterically just to sound angrier.
‘why are you even trying it?’
‘what are you even doing here?’
first used by thirstin howl iii, it means that you have smoked, drank and snorted so much that you ain’t high, you even.
i had a little bit of that green, a little bit of that brown, i’m just even.
verb. something that white girls can’t do.
“oh my god janet! did you see that girl’s dress? like i can’t even!”
an unknown action that somehow is necessary to life. shocking events, positive or negative, sometimes inhibit a person from being able to ‘even’, resulting in the person ‘literally dying’.

scholars are unsure about what bodily functions are described by the word ‘even’.
i’m literally dying because i can’t even.

that event that unfolded before my eyes was so startling and against my expectations, that i have lost all my ability to even. please call an ambulance.
exclamation denoting agreement, surprise, approval
he’s totally rocking the p-rn moustache look

even!
the funniest word in the english language
the funniest even word because its even pointless and any sentence with it in it would be even fine without it
even is a disease men can get if they spend too much time masturbating.
it causes their p-n-s to fall off, makes them enjoy donald duck & co, and turns their hair red.
“oh no! i’ve gotten even! how will i go on?! i knew i shouldn’t have watched that last p-rno movie!”