Fairfield University
jesuit university in fairfield, ct, established in 1942. requirements for admission: mediocre sat scores, upper-middle cl-ss to uppercl-ss ses, possession of at least one northface jacket, and an alcohol addiction. boys: must own a baby pink polo shirt and be openly metros-xual. girls: must have an orange fake tan and a nose permanently positioned toward the sky. neither boys nor girls may fear wild turkeys or indigestion.
hi, i go to fairfield university, so charge it to daddy’s credit card!
i’m allowed to pop my collar because i’m a fairfield kid!
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