Falkirk


a dead town which sucks the life out of it’s inhabitants and anyone within a 500-mile radius.

over the years, falkirk has been dominated by fat bis-xual tramps who proclaim themselves as ’emos’. these creatures have invaded the town’s bandstand although are easily repelled by a shiny adidas logo or two.
after several one-night stands with equally bedgraggled towns such as c-mbernauld and livingstone, falkirk has even given birth to 10 children referred to as ‘bonnybridge’, ‘grangemouth’, ‘camelon’, ‘larbert’, ‘stenhousemuir’, ‘the braes’, ‘bainsford’, ‘the bogue’ and ‘bo’ness’. but we don’t talk about bo’ness. they eat their children there.
the town’s last sc-mmy residents, are the pensioners. they may be found standing in asda on a snowy day, staring at the empty shelves and then har-ssing p-ssers by. if you see a falkirk pensioner, bag it, bin it, and then pour petrol in the bin and set it alight.
falkirk is sh-te. end of.
jim: lets go to falkirk!
bob: -kills self-
a fantastic town in central scotland and home of the mighty falkirk football club.
falkirk is wonderful
the centre of the universe. g-d’s second home. home also of the greatest football team ever
is this heaven? naw mate, even better it’s falkirk
falkirk is small boring scottish town that is full of neds
a day in falkirk is a day wasted
falkirk is a chav farm bomb in now.
falkirk is wonderful, aye a wonderful bucket of sh-te
falkirk is town in central scotland home to the sc-m of the earth. where many homeless people can be found.
my bin is empty.ok i’ll throw my rubbish in falkirk.
also home to falkirk young offenders prison where the sc-mmy schemiegadgiedregs of scotlands youth who should be drowned at birth learn their trade i.e
how to steal cars chibspitting and shoplifting when they are not getting it up the -ss.
i’d rather die than spend 1 hour in falkirk.

falkirk = sh-t

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