Farm hands

when one obtains a leathery toughness on the skin of the hands due to strenuous farm work. this benefit often lets the worker grapple steel fence posting without fear, give an intimidating handshake, and suffer through cold wet nights outside easier with the warmth trapped in the callussed brilliance of his or her hands.
“well golly, i sure am g-rateful that i’ve got me some farm hands, or that’n fence post would have never come out of the ground”

“tell owen and alex to start throwing that hay or i’ll pinch their necks with my farm hands.”

farmer: “great show!” “thump thump thump”
weakling: “hey why are you clapping like that?”
farmer: “it’s the only way i can son, farm hands”
an open handed slap on a hot -ss, occasionally followed by a hard tooshie squeeze.

the phrase has its origins in the agricultural industry, where farmers would often slap their cows hard to get their attention. this gesture is an adaptation, its primary intentions being to rouse the attention of females, and to treat them as if they were cattle.
“d-mn, jenny has a hot -ss. i’m gonna give her a farm hand.”

or

“last night while i was hooking up with this girl, i have her a huge farm hand. she’ll be marked for at least two weeks.”
to deliver a brutal slap across a b-tches face so hard that it knocks her to the floor. similar to a pimp slap except it is usually administered with an open palm. it is also a lot harder, it requires you to place your feet firmly on the ground to avoid falling over, swivel round transferring as much momentum to the hand as possible before delivering it directly across the face.
“joe had had just about enough of his girlfriend’s bullsh-t, so to ease the breakup process he got a friend to drive him to her house where he threatened to farmhand her.”
much like a pimp hand, but the redneck version.
that girl was a real b-tch, i thought i’d have to bust out the farmhand on her -ss.
aka large c-ck
i need a man with some decent farm hands.