fart sommelier
a fart sommelier (pr-nounced /sʌməlˈjeɪ/, french pr-nunciation: sɔməlje), or fart steward, is a trained and knowledgeable fart professional, commonly working in fine restaurants, who specializes in all aspects of farts. this individual can smell and identify all aspects of a fart including beverage and food consumption, length of time “brewing”, and identify certain digestional defects.
i am a fart sommelier. i smell a hint of sharp cheddar cheese with a taste of freshly squeezed orange juice, also a small sample of stomache cancer in your fart.
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