fatmath


fatmath is the mental calculation one must do of the relative obesity of everyone in the room before you mention (even in p-ssing) your weight loss plans or act disgusted with your recent weight gain.

failure to do fatmath can result in fielding a hearty stab to the face from someone greater than or equal to your degree of fatt-tude, even though the food didn’t jump down your godd-mn throats, people.
rosencrantz: we were all eating birthday cake, and i said “man, i must have gained 5 pounds this summer, i need to go on a diet” and then some 180 pound woman comes out of nowhere and stabs me directly in the face!

guildenstern: dude, clearly you did not do the fatmath in this situation.

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