Ferdinand
a boy named after king ferdinand. born in germany but has the body of a greek god. has an out going personality that wins him admiration from all over. very successful at what he does and can play many sports. is an opinion leader and role model for others. women love him but he only loves one woman.
his name is ferdinand.
a fluent speaker of russian, he specializes in the disposal of others. favorite activities include scratching the cardboard rectangle, meowing, moving his food out of the bowl before eating it, and chasing twist ties around.
“did you hear that sound?”
“it must’ve been ferdinand.”
“it sounded like a gun”
“it must’ve been ferdinand.”
“do you hear someone being tortured?”
“it’s just the cat.”
“i smell smoke.”
“it’s just the cat.”
“ok seriously, you’ll have to stop with ‘it’s just the cat.’ you know just as well as i do that cats do not use death by a million cuts to kill their enemies, they don’t have guns, and they don’t explode. i’m going to stop coming over if you don’t tell me what’s going on, it’s getting out of-”
but then he was killed by a mysterious throwing knife.
a slang term for a mans p-n-s
“ferdinand is getting very excited!”
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