Festival of the Clom
a sacred festival honouring the great clom and how he saved us all from eternal d-mnation. it takes place every year on 30 february in a field in the middle of norfolk. the festival of the clom consists of grown men and women running in circles around a large fire screaming ‘clom’ while wearing nothing other than beige socks pulled all the way up their legs and crocks. all that sustains these people is the alcoholic delicacy known as doye (fermented cat hair mixed with crude oil). this festival lasts for 3 days
dan: oi, are you going to the festival of the clom next week?
jonny: yeah, i’ll make sure to iron my socks!
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