Fig Newton
an artsy, stuck up jerk with hipster hair who is full on himself and believes he is a master of his craft; but isn’t. usually named brennen, duke, enzo, hoist, or damion.
my hairdresser is such a fig newton.
the most godly food in the universe. the greatest cookie thinger ever. it contains the jam of figs and is covered by a chewy cake bread.
kevin, eat this fig newton because you are stupid.
the pathetic subst-tute for real cookies like oreos or chips ahoy. often bought by overprotective, health-conscious mothers.
-hey little johnny, do you want dessert?
-ya mom! what’s there to eat?
-fig newtons
-fig newtons? f-ck you, mom.
as defined by stewie griffin “it’s like an orgy in my mouth”
i ate a fig newton and it was like an orgy in my mouth.
the most addicting cookie ever on the planet earth
i just ate a whole bag of fig newtons
replacement term for the f word referring to h-m-s-xuals, does not sting as much when used negatively.
“quit being a fig newton, i’m trying to watch the stream”
a nice way to say f-ggot with out disrespecting somebody.
dude you’re such a fig newton!
a term for marijuana.
chris: hey dude, you wanna eat some fig newtons later?
zak: sure!
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