finals coma


the act of engaging of copious amounts of sleep, often aided by over-the-counter sleep aids, either to prepare for or recover from an exhausting period of studying and exams.

so named because preparation for, and getting through, final exams often leaves students sleep-deprived, particularly graduating seniors and students majoring in fields that require excessive amounts of memorization or explicit attention to detail. this naturally leads to a period of rest wherein the subject is so unresponsive to stimuli that they may appear to be under the influence of a low-grade elephant tranquilizer or comparable sedative.

persons in need of a finals coma can often be identified by red-rimmed eyes, fingers stained with highlighter ink, empty caffeinated-beverage containers, and a slow, shambling gait, as that of a zombie.
student 1: you ready for finals next week?

student 2: yeah, sunday, i plan on popping some tylenol pms and sleeping for 14 hours just make sure i don’t miss my 8 am exam.

student 1: need a finals coma, eh?

student 2: yeah.

or

student a: i just finished my last exam.

student b: sweet, let’s go get drunk!

student a: dude, it’s only noon and i haven’t slept all week–let me get in a finals coma, and we’ll hit the bar around midnight.

student b: sounds good!

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