Five Fs


find ’em , follow ’em, finger ’em, f-ck ’em, forget ’em
john introduced the concept of the five fs to a smiling mary during their speed date: “you don’t know about the five fs? it’s a maxim i’ve always tried to live by.”
the five stages in a successful relationship with a woman. they are: find her. feed her. feel her. f-ck her. and forget her.
marmaduke met chloe. this was a standard five f’s scenario.
a man’s take on ‘dating’ women…

1. find em
2. feel em
3. finger em
4. f-ck em
5. forget em
man 1: hey do you know the five f’s?
man 2: h-ll yeah…who doesn’t?
man 3: i don’t…
man 1 and 2: huh???!!!
the five fs people do: french feel finger f-ck
he wanted to d othe five fs with me but i said no

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