football hooligan
english football hooligans’ kit:
chest: england sports shirt or bare beer belly
legs: blue jeans, or optionally tracksuits for the thinner hooligan
left hand: brick. preferably, attached to a string so you can throw it through a shop window and get it back without much fuss.
right hand: either a half-full bottle of carlsberg or a broken bottle of carlsberg.
fingers: fake gold jewellery.
head: skinhead
face: temporary facepaint of saint george’s cross
feet: reebok cl-ssics
pocket: mobile phone to call other football hooligans to arrange fights
mouth: foul language
cranium: a lonely brain cell
en-ger-land’s finest export.
people in a -firm-
wear expensive clothes that appear to be casual and really cheap
regularly meet other football hooligans for fights before/after a match while p-ssed out of their face
hull city psychos – the firm in hull – appear at every home and away game hoping for a fight
stretford end – location for all uniteds football hooligans
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