Free Range Yard Ape
similar to the traditional yard ape however this subspecies is typically let free of the bounds of a fenced yard (while still chained to others of the species) and allowed to perform menial tasks about the plantation.
when in free range mode, local liquor stores must be kept under close watch as this species has a predisposition for robbery, usually around the time child support payments are due.
in order to maintain a high level of energy free range yard apes will typically seek out – chickamelon, 40 oz. malt beverages, all manner of fried chicken, watermelon, collard greens, hogmall, and red drink.
free range yard ape >> “heyz mista plantation owner, ize a really likin’ bein’ a free range yard ape, but ize ain’t liking the work.”
plantation owner >> (while whipping free range yard ape) you want less work? maybe after i work your -ss over with the whip you will appreciate being a free range yard ape!
free range yard ape >> yes m-ssa’!
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