fridge master
the all knowing protector of self-cooled refreshment apparatus. he who is named fridge master will and shall defend the refrigerants with not only his life, but with his soul. the fridge master is also appointed the ability to instantly materialize any refrigerated item from thin air, allowing him or her never to starve or dehydrate. as well as fridge magic, he can also sense when a fridge is being tampered with, and can instantly freeze the intruder.
throughout the time that the self-contained refrigeration device was invented, only three people have ever held the t-tle as fridge master: albert einstein, who held the t-tle for 23 years, john f. kennedy, who was appointed temporary fridge-ship due to high risk of himself being -ss-ssinated, and a third master, who remains nameless even today.
not much is known about these mysterious coolant warlocks. any and all research into the matter has been silenced harshly by either the government or otherwise. all that is known for certain is that there is a higher power, a silent protector, a watchful guardian, that is never late, nor is he early. he is always on time to make sure your refrigerated items are safe from harm.
guy 1: did you hear that someone at the university tried to mess with people’s food in the cafeteria? police said they found his body completely frozen, with one hand on the refrigerator door
guy 2: the fridge master works in mysterious ways.
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