ft.myers beach
the best place to live ever! period… end of story. we throw the best parties, have the hottest people and smoke the best ganja.
when someone says we’re going to “the beach” this weekend, they’re referring to ft. myers beach. it doesn’t matter if u go to verot, estero, cypress, ft.myers or south, we’ll all end up parting together here anyways. times square and the pier is where its at! you can jump off the pier and get chased by cops, get free skimbording lessons from hot guys, toke it up on the beach and not even worry about getting caught….cause everyone’s a beach b-m here and we’re all gettin stoned.
fmb is happnin during spring break. traffic is h-ll and tourists can go to h-ll, but the hot guys that come for the months of march and april are heaven.
we throw the best parties around. everyone knows if u want pot u go back behind the hooters and the lani kai doesn’t check ids. we party on the beach and under bridges all night long.
i know henna tattoos isn’t all you can get from ossi. i know that when u go to the beach, mcdonalds is where lunch is bought, cause we’re all broke as h-ll. i know that if i go to publix i’ll most likely see about 10 people i know. this is the smallest town ever! everyone knows everyone and all of their business(no secrets here…whatsoever).
karaoke is sung at junkanoos every night. everyone knows the matchbox doesn’t sell matches and the beached whale isn’t a helpless animal, the surf club isn’t an organized group of surfers nor do they offer lessons, unless you’d like to perfect your drinking habits, yet most beach kids have that art mastered by age 12. going on a run, involves a trip inland, a fake id from naples and a 30 pack…not running shoes. as you should know pirate pete’s has nothing to do with a pirate. the shrimp festival is pretty much the highlight of our year here. don’t buy ice cream from the palm-tree bicycle carts on the beach, everyone knows that guy’s a (former?) crack dealer. (i’ll stick with ben & jerry thanks) fmb is amazzzing. even though i still don’t know what a wahoo willie is, i’m so proud to be able to call ft. myers beach home!
welcome to ft.myers beach, we’ll show u paradise b-tches!!
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