fudget


fudget can be used as a noun or a verb. rhymes with ‘budget’ but sadly, is related to it in theory only.

1. a faux budget that uses imaginary figures and projections with little or no basis in reality and extraordinarily humongous numbers that don’t even fit on anyone’s calculator
2. fiction that uses numbers instead of words to tell tall tales (aka ‘lies’) involving amounts of money that can only be described as “more than you can possibly imagine”
3. accounting (usually in federal, state, local governments but by no means limited to only the public sector) that does not add up regardless of what anyone would have you believe
4. a financial blackhole that sucks in genuine arithmetic and spews out bullsh-t
5. the modus operandi where the labors and production of the hard-working men and women of america are confiscated, redistributed, and otherwise squandered by the political cl-ss

important note: the word “fudget” when used in any written sentence, appearing in any medium, in any language, for all time and eternity, must be written in bold red rgb 255,0,0 not the “pleasant and pleasing” shade of red found on most renditions of the american flag, but that other red that screams stop! and something is terribly wrong here red, or it will be considered misspelled (what, it’s not?).
fudgeting is the formal process by which the elected and appointed officials screw the electorate in the -ss—but what the h-ll—opm (other people’s money) sure is fun to p-ss away.

the national debt is the total of the annual fudget deficits (plus interest of course).

the federal budget should be renamed the federal fudget.

in a fudget—1 + 1 does not equal 2—in fact, it can equal anything you want—the numbers are all made up & the figures don’t mean anything—but it doesn’t matter—no one bothers to do the math anymore.

we need to fudget more money for these programs—even though they don’t work—or we’re not going to get re-elected in november—and that’s all that matters.

just throw it in the fudget, no one reads this sh-t anyway—and even if they did—what the h-ll are they gonna do about it? the american people are either so stupid they just don’t get it—or so busy watching tv and playing video games—or watching p-rn and playing with themselves—that they don’t notice what’s really going on—by the time they catch on to the fact that we’ve bankrupted the country and sold their children and their children’s children into slavery we’ll all be dead and gone.

that’s a real fudget-buster!

who needs a fudget?—we’ll just monetize the national debt.

bend over a little more—i’m trying to ram this fudget through before anyone finds out we have absolutely no way to pay for any of it.

can you say “weimar republic”! because they had this fudget thing down to a science and look at them.

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