Gage

a gage is a person that is a s-x machine. there is only one kind of gage. a popular, athletic, s-xy, love machine, p-ssy magnet. and a gage d-ck is so big, it is more than likely known as a c-ckzilla!
guy 1:dude, have you seen liz today?
guy 2:no, why?
guy 3:she’s walking like a penguin, gage must’ve gotten a hold of her!
guy 4:jesus christ!!!!, poor girl…
an incredibly sweet, sensitive, and understanding man. a gentleman. cl-ssy, easy to confide in, and trustworthy. the best friend anyone could ask for, and entirely irreplaceable. loyal to the core. very attractive with an athletic build, and catches the eye of any woman he p-sses–though he rarely realizes it. logical-minded, tends to hide his true emotions, ridiculously intelligent, and will let anyone know his opinion if they ask for it. if you want to know what a “cool nerd” looks like, find a gage. has a tendency to sometimes be introverted, but once you get to know him he is crazy, hilarious, lovable, and tons of fun. a grammar-n-z- who is probably cringing at this definition’s many sentence fragments. all in all, a gage is a person that anyone would be fortunate to meet, blessed to be considered an acquaintance, and feel like they were in an alternative reality if he were to consider them a best friend.
my life would not be complete if i did not have a gage.
-nice guy who listens, and does for others.
-very shy if he doesnt know you.
-understanding
he was being so gage around you today.
(noun) a ninja
(verb) the act of being a ninja
“dude, you’re a gage.”
marijuana, cannabis, reefer
from louis armstrong’s autobiography:

speaking of 1931 – we did call ourselves vipers, which could have been anybody from all walks of life that smoked and respected gage. that was our cute little name for marijuana, and it was a misdemeanor in those days. much different from the pressure and charges the law lays on a guy who smokes pot – a later name for the same thing which is cute to hear nowadays. we always looked at pot as a sort of medicine, a cheap drunk and with much better thoughts than one that’s full of liquor. but with the penalties that came, i for one had to put it down though the respect for it (gage) will stay with me forever. i have every reason to say these words and am proud to say them. from experience.
a ‘gage’ is usually a quiet mischevious man with a very large p-n-s. usually not the jock of the group, but he always scores a touchdown in the bedroom.’
“look at that guy, hes such a manly man.”
“yeah thats because hes a gage.”
a male with the coolest underwear you will ever find. a gage isn’t the jock of the group and far from the most popular. a man named gage doesn’t have the most hugest shlong, but is still good at using it. he is also considered a loose cannon because you never know what he’s gonna do next. one minute a gage will be calm, cool, and collected, and the next he will be doing a dinosaur impersonation. that is just one of the reasons why he is considered so funny. a girl is considered lucky to have even graced his mind. the only forsee-able problems with a gage are his hair(it’s probably long) and his m-ssive amounts of laziness. that and the popularity thing. in short, probably not you.
guy #1: dude, did you see gage at that party yesterday?
guy #2: no, i was too busy trying to jerk one out to that rebecca black video. why, what did he do?
guy #1: only everything! first, he showed everyone his sweet underwear, then he banged every hot girl there! it was crazy. all those girls were walking around bowlegged and smiling today. why isn’t he he sitting at the lunch table with those popular people?
guy #2: idk but man i wish i was him.

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