Get Out Of Hell Free Card
in the world of born-again christianity, a get-out-of-h-ll-free-card is a lame excuse an evangelical will use to justify or sugarcoat their shortcomings in order to keep up the illusion that they are still morally, intellectually and consciously superior to all the non-believing secularists. oftentimes these lame excuses come in the form of bible verses or paraphrased bible quotes, but sometimes they will just comletely make sh-t up. one of the most popular get-out-of-h-ll-free-cards is the saying: “we err because we’re human, but we constantly strive to be perfect like jesus in every way.” a more crazy rationalization for bad behavior is the accusation, “how can any of us mortals truly expect to comprehend the wisdom of g-d, which is so mighty that even the greatest of us stumble over his ignorance?”
linda: teens should wait until they’re married before having s-x.
greg: at what age did you lose your virginity?
linda: if you must know, i was 12. but that doesn’t make it okay. we err because we’re human, but being a christian means that we constantly strive to be like jesus in every way. just because i sinned doesn’t mean you have to also.
greg: wow, it sounds like she just used her get out of h-ll free card.
– – –
bob: woah, georgie. you totally missed that grazing buck with your ak-47 and just killed that entire wedding party!
georgie: how can any of us mortals truly expect to comprehend the wisdom of g-d, which is so mighty that even the greatest of us stumble over his ignorance?
bob: uh, yeah. i think your get out of h-ll free card is expired.
the “get out of h-ll free” card is a commercial parody of the monopoly “get out of jail free” card, created by a columnist after a reader told him he “was going to h-ll” for a story he wrote. well over 1 million of the cards have been sold since its inception. “get out of h-ll free” is a federally registered trademark.
the waitress was being har-ssed by customers, so i gave her a get out of h-ll free card. really made her day!
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