Giving Gum


something you offer as a peace offering when you’re being yelled at by some cobwebbed band mom. can also be given when you’ve just told a long time girl friend that she probably contracted syphilis. results may vary, but death may occur.
1.
lady: “you need to be more respectful!!!!”
brad: “okay, okay… -reaches in pocket- gum???”
lady: -absolutely speechless-
brad: -runs away to literally die laughing-

2.
brad: “yeah, jill’s not gonna be too happy when she finds out what i done did…”
ted: “giving gum.”
brad: “what?”
ted: “yeah, works like a charm.”

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