Gnat


a small two-winged biting fly, e.g. a black fly or a midge.

kill all gnats or be bitten!
aka friut fly
aka nature’s -sshole

at birth, gnats are given three objectives in life that they feverishly carry out with as much enthusiasm as a swinger at a wife swap.

first, they must at all costs have an innate desire to locate the nostrils of h-m-sapiens and fly straight in to them no matter how visiously they are swatted at.

second, baring deflection from nostril penetration, they are given an intense s-xual desire to mate with the human uvula. typically the man or woman being attacked are so busy shouting obsenities at the gnat so as to allow easy access in to the mouth and straight to the back of the throat.

third, they are drawn to the sweet, sweet odor of feces. this causes a high concentration of the little -ssholes where ever there is a place mired in sh-t, such as open sewage lines, and your work place.

presently there is no way to destroy gnats permantly, however a good clapping of the hands have brought many a gnat to their compressed demise. in 1915 a dutch farmer, after becoming violently enraged from swallowing one to many gnats over a humid summer, devised a gnat trap which are still in use to day. striking a blow for human kind everywhere these traps are comprised of sucrose water made to smell like the uvula which draw gnats in and drown them in a watery tomb. this of course is only a temporary measure as they tend to re-appear a week later after one of your -sshole co-workers leaves a banana to brown on his desk thus starting the cycle over again.
f-cking gnat is p-ssing me off, did jeremy leave a banana on his desk again? if he did i’ll -choke- -cough- -cough- ah f-ck i swallowed it! -cough- -cough-
someone who does frowned upon, but not illegal, actions in video games and life in general.
“hey bob hayes your qb isn’t your running back you gnat.
an annoying b-tch that won’t leave you alone.
that gnat is driving me crazy.

dude, help me i bought that gnat a drink and man did i make a mistake, because she won’t get the hint now.
greatest nipples of all time
milla jovovich has the g.n.a.t.s (watch 0.45)
those evil looking things you see on the ceiling. on occasions you will see a gnat, get real close to so you can kill it, and then suddenly realise it’s a moth! this is all part of the gnats plan…it will now stick his menacing probe in any part of your body and you won’t even realise.
whilst you are chilling out listen to some david bowie:

peter: have you heard beauty and the beast yet? it’s in the heroes alb-m.
stephen: aghhhhhh!!!!!!
peter: what is it?
stephen: it’s a gnat!!!! get under the covers quick!
peter: (heroically) no don’t worry, i shall exterminate it!
stephen: oh you hero!
peter: no, wait it’s a moth.
the opposite of tang.
look at that gnat.

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