God Squad

derisive name given to various religeous organisations that aggressively and proactively campaign for new members to spread their faith.
don’t answer the door. the g-d squad is out there.
group of young christians (usually born-agains) who act as a single ent-ty in all things. if one wants to join a soccer team, for example, they all must. if one wants to go to the mall and hang out, they all must.

members of the g-d squad are, as all rampant christians tend to be, pious and condescending, and will “quote scripture” at you, at the drop of a hat (or f-bomb). being young, and “g-d’s children” they are very sweet and nice, as long as you are white, straight, and believe in g-d. otherwise you’re burnin’ in h-ll.
at social event:
chap one: “bl–dy h-ll! she’s cute! i’m going in!”
chap two: “wait, my amorous friend, and stay your hand. your worthy attempts at love will be fruitless, for she is in the g-d squad!”

at soccer field:
chap one: “i’m open! p-ss the ball! p-ss!! sh-t!!!”
g-d squad member: “you’re a p–py mouth. i shun you!”

at bar after the game:
chap one: “where’s _____? why doesn’t she hang out with us?”
chap two: “she’s over in the non smoking section with the rest of the g-d squad. they don’t want to sit with us because we swear, smoke, and drink, and find everything we do offensive.”
chap one: “ah. f-ck that, then.”
“christians” that only hang out with other christians and make fun of people that are not christian. they are also best friends with jesus, but you can’t be, only they can be. oh yeah, they’re better than you at everything, especially life.
that dude that sits in the front of cl-ss with his bible proudly displayed on his desk, who won’t give you the time of day unless your a known christian, and even then he acts like hes more righteous than you. he won’t tell anybody about jesus because its a secret club that only he should be a part of.
the term godsquad refers to a particularily obnoxious form of so-called christian. members of a godsquad typically form a tight-knit group in highschool. officially godsquads are open to anyone who is a christian, however this is a lie as members are clearly defined when the godsquad is created with the exception of those who date a member and then become a part of the group. g-dsquads do avoid the usual teenage vices of drugs and alcohol although gossip is rife, especially in regards to dating. g-dsquads usually will take over the christian union in their school and esentially transform it into a private club making non-christians and non-godsquad christians fell unwelcome in the extreme.

beliefs:g-dsquads typically have rudimentary knowledge of the bible but have no real grasp of complex theology. g-dsquad members are totally ignorant of the outside world, other religions and think that anyone who is not a christian is stupid. members typically place most importance on singing modern hymns and appealing to emotions rather than intellect. g-dsquads attmept to spread their faith (godsquad as opposed to chritianity) every waking minute. this largely fails however due to their air of superiority and ignorance which will antagonise the rest of the highschool.

group composition:g-dsquads are usually contain equal numbers of males and females most of which will be couples as the concept of remaining single is largely unknkown. there a two types of godsquad male, the first is esentially a jock who has replaced sport with god in a crude sense and is generally less of a d-ck. the second type of male would be a h-m-s-xual were it not for his beliefs, he may have had girlfriends but will ultimately fulfil the role of gay buddy to the group’s girls. female godsquad members range in intelligence and appearance like ordinary people, however they all display a complete lack of common sense and, although the will achieve high grades, the are ignorant of anything they have not be taught in school. peppiness is also mandatory.

cultural features
g-dsquad taste in music ranges from pop to indie. metal is viewed as satanic, dance and rnb are often too morally dubious and emo is not nearly peppy enough. a good indication of godsquad culture is the favoured film francise which is highschool musical. frankly this says it all. it is important to note however that, unlike chavs emos and jocks, godsquad pose no real threat to the person property or peace and quiet of those nearby and do generally contribute to society in some manner.

godsquads may continue into college after highschool though in the real world former godsquad members either regain their sanity becoming normal people or will join a fundametalist church full of nutjobs as crazy as themselves.
there will usually be at least one godsquad in every school and will be easy to spot just look for the people who are constantly moralising and guilt tripping everyone else.
1. group of church goers that comes into a restaurant around 1 and 3pm.
the god squad will be out of church soon be prepared for the rush.
a group of christian teenager who try and convert people at their high school. they belive that gods way is the only way. they dont have s-x till marrage and try to pervent others doing so, they wave bibles around and wave them in your face, think that they are above everyone else they suffer from the god complex
the god squad at our school told us that they could lead us to god instead we showed them h-ll with the heels of our boots
someone of such devout religiousness, they appear to be a member of g-d’s brigade, known as the g-d squad. brings fear to the heart of many atheists. members are often unfortunate-looking.
watch out, the g-d squad is coming for you!

seriously, it’s like every teacher at this school is a paid-up member of g-d squad.