Gym Boyfriend
a beautiful muscular man you see at the gym. he makes your heart rate quicken, your blood boil and gives the perfect motivation for working out. watching him might also teach you a few new workouts. because you and he have the same schedule and same routine, you develop a casual relationship in your head.
but never talk to him. this will shatter your hollow crush and thus lessen your motivation. he has nothing interesting to say. his fridge is full of protein powder and milk. his only conversation topics surround the gym, how often you workout and critiquing your posture.
a: “hey, i’m heading over to the free weights”
b: “isn’t that your gym boyfriend over there?”
a: “oh you know it, swoon! maybe he’ll grunt in my direction”
b: “well, aren’t you ever going to talk to him? ask him out?”
a: “what? and shatter this perfect illusion?”
Read Also:
- Alcohol Civilization Theory
the theory that alcohol is the cause of the existance of civilization. in the theory, alcohol is considered to be the “enlightenment” of man. the alcohol civilization theory was invented by me as a joke. the underground future of dui criminals. as their numbers grow their will be a new political and judical future where […]
- Dear Prudence
“dear prudence” is an advice column on the slate website. prudence, or “prudie”, dispenses timely, and sometimes humorous or cutting advice for modern day problems. there is also a song by the beatles ent-tled dear prudence, but this has nothing to do with the advice column. “dear prudence; my boyfriend doesn’t want me talking to […]
- alcoholrexia
to forgo the consumption of food to provide more calories for alcohol i have alcoholrexia, i did not eat all day so i can go out tonight and drink all night and still maintain the same level of fatness
- Alice Troup
a grumpy young girl, aged between 13-103 who likes to divorce people and wears the trousers around the house. (man) hey that girl just divorced another guy !! (mans friend) yeah she’s a right old alice troup.
- GASHUNK
onomatopoeia – the noise a shark makes when kicking down a door. -gashunk- person 1: what was that? person 2: clearly it was a shark kicking down a door.