Habadassery
like a haberdashery, but for bad-sses. rathers than bowties and cufflinks, a habad-ssery sells leather jackets and explosions.
currency in a habad-ssery usually takes the form of flying kicks, b-n-rs, and bullets to the face.
it is a little known fact that habad-sserii (the plural spelling) actually existed before haberdasheries. haberdasheries were created to cater for young men with more money than cojones, hoping to earn valuable street credits from fine tailoring rather than rough fisticuffs. now the art of the habad-sser is largely forgotten, and truly kick–ss explosions are hard to come by.
foolish male: i need to go shopping for some dandy new clothes. would you care to accompany me to the nearest haberdashery?
real man: what the h-ll? shuck that jive!
i’m not shopping with you coz i’m not your wife!
especially not in a gorram haberdashery,
my b-lls care not for such exotic finery.
real men don’t shop, non-stop they buy.
and they only buy from habad-sserii.
also they intentionally rhyme, all the time.
foolish male: that was quite a funky little song. habad-sserii?
real man: its the plural of habad-ssery. like octopii.
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