hampden
hampden is the royal farms headquarters of the world.
hampden’s bike lanes double as jazzy speedways.
hampden can satisfy all your non-contractual cellphone needs. no questions asked.
hampden has a disturbing amount of peewee herman memorabilia and an unhealthy relationship with flamingos.
hampden is a good place for getting burned for ready rock at 4 am after coming down off of shrooms.
hampden’s mcdonalds gives you really salty fries. just sayin.
hampden: home of dimitri’s. where one can purchase a beverage for three dollars (including tip) at 6:01 am.
hampden: home of the largest slice of pizza …and diarrhea.
some home grown celebrities: hey helen (r.i.p.), that dude with the tattoos on his face, the other dude with the swastika on his chest (who hangs with black dudes), the king brothers, big bubba (fire hero), and magoo – to name a few.
yous two stay here. mama’s going to the rite aids. (in hampden)
hampden is a small town in m-ssachusetts of approximately 5,000 people. it is possibly one of the most remote towns in the world. it neighbors wilbraham, and survives off it. it doesn’t even have its own high school, the hampden and wilbraham kids both go to minnechaug regional high school. hampden children are verbally abused every day at school, as the rich, spoiled wilbraham kids laugh at them for their rural farm town.
hampden? isn’t that that ghost town only cows live in?
pr-nounced ham – den
1. (n.) a neighborhood of northern baltimore city, maryland, home to one of the last remaining enclaves of american of severely in-bred, caucasian urban working poor (a.k.a. “white trash”), birthplace of “hon” culture, inspiration for many a john waters piece, and site of one of the most daring social experiments of modern, urban america.
hampden’s main thoroughfare, 36th street, “the avenue” allows the intrepid observer a glimpse of a truly unique american cultural nexus where one might spy a smelly starving artist, cracked out homeless person, upper cl-ss white hipster, and college student all within mere inches of one another.
2. (adj.) anything invoking, reminiscent of, or celebrating hampden, its culture, or its denizens.
note: not to be confused with dundaulk.
did you see that funny lookin’ white kid in the purple camouflage pants back there? he was soooo hampden.
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