henry kissinger
a former secretary of state who, despite having won the n-bel peace prize — a slap in the face to those who truly have spent their lives supporting human rights and working for the betterment of humankind — should be sitting in an international prison as a war criminal. among his many (mis)deeds were sabotaging the 1968 paris peace talks (thus tacking on another five years of u.s. involvement in the vietnam conflict), and his key role in orchestrating the 1973 coup in chile which put murderous pinochet into power.
he reportedly no longer travels abroad without first consulting his lawyers about the possibility of his being arrested.
henry kissinger is the antichrist.
1) n. former secretary of state and national security advisor to presidents richard nixon and gerald ford.
2) n. the politician who, combined with german rocket scientist verner von braun, was the inspiration for the character ‘dr. strangelove,’ featured in the stanley kubric movie of the same name. (ie-to economize on stereotypical german movie characters by combining them together, and hoping people will recognize at least one of them.)
3) p. a skillful and adroit diplomat with a contrived accent.
4) n. the first diplomat to demonstrate that the secret to successful diplomacy is to mumble and speak softly to the extent that n-body can really understand what you are saying. hence, lending whatever you say to multiple interpretations, some of which are positive.
5) sp. the nixon cabinet executive who initially suggested that a howard hunt and g. gordon liddy recruit a bunch of imbeciles to break into daniel elsberg’s psychiatrists office, causing the watergate scandal, and ultimately ending nixon’s term as president.
6) the first secretary of state to wear clip-on suspenders.
7) p. any paunchy, middle aged man who is able to have s-x with attractive female celebrities based on his status with the liberal media establishment.
i’m not exactly sure what dr. kissinger said, but it sounded really clever and deep. did anybody write it down?
i’m pretty sure henry kissinger speaks several languages, including greek. at least that’s what it sounds like to me.
is dr. kissinger speaking, or are we having trouble with the water pipes again?
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