Hermitcrabbing
verb – the act of inhabiting your partners bas-m-nt bunker(s) with your p-n-s indefinitely until eviction notice is enforced from your landlord.-
-this is not to be confused with soaking
john: hey bill! wanna go see a motion picture?
bill: i can’t, i’m currently hermit crabbing cindy’s bas-m-nt bunker
john: still?
bill: yeah, she hasn’t evicted me yet
(verb) the act of becoming so unhealthily involved with one’s significant other as to completely withdraw from the world the person crawls up inside of their boyfriend or girlfriend’s life much like the t-tular vermin, using only their large right claw as a doorway/camoflage preventing others from identifying he/she. the person only emerges every once in a while to nab a piece of
food (rejoin society briefly), and then scurries back into his/her hidey hole. the culprit will continue to do
this until the signficant other is no longer hospitable or he/she outgrows them, then he/she will have to move on to another person, or find a tin can or
other such shelter.
“that guy has been hermitcrabbing for like three months now. is he even alive?”
v. the act of “hermit crabbing” is a uniquely human behavior most commonly found in sleep away sports camps, where , typically after a night of dorm-partying and lame pranks, an athlete(s) proceed the next morning to do as the hermit crabs do: coc–n themselves within a sh-ll of their bedsheets or sleeping bags and sleep through any early morning games that may have been inconveniently scheduled. cereal hermit crabbers tend to have poor standing with coaches.
athlete a at 2:00 a.m. : bro i’m boutta be tired as b-lls tomorrow dude, are you trynna hermit crab with me?
athletes b: tots my goats brotha, not feeling this 8 a.m. game, screw coach he’s a f-g anyways
athlete c: yo man where is spencer?
athlete d: the word on the street is he’s hermit crabbing
athlete c: the tricksty trickster strikes again
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