Hermononucleosis
a disease which causes you to become hermione granger (herman, hermanana, hermiongle boingle boingle, hermanmonster)
doctor: i’m sorry, but you have hermononucleosis.
patient: hermononucleosis? what’s that?
doctor: well, the symptoms are very complicated, but basically it turns you into a frumpy, ugly little girl who has no friends and carries around enormous books, and you lose your popularity and your ability to draw.
patient: is it deadly?
doctor: not by itself, no. but the isolation and endless teasing may provoke suicide. and, unfortunately, we have not yet found a cure.
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