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hilarpadoodle

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• Extortion Day

  also known as april 15th in the usa. it is the day where people scramble to make sure their mafia tribute…oh i mean “taxes” are filed and paid for in fear that the local, state, and federal government will lock them up in a cage. formally known as “tax day” mark: hey john, what day […]

• friendly bump

  when you softly b-mp another car, and then it ends with someone fighting you over insurance claims. “remember when i friendly b-mped your car man?” “you f-cking friendly b-mped me! i’m gonna punch the sh-t out of you!”

• totally shitfaced

  just p-ssed russian drunk but still working on irish drunk dude, i got totally sh-tfaced last night and now i can’t find my clothes at the bar. let me drive you home tim, you’re totally sh-tfaced.

• cloud blocked

  happens when astronomers cannot see their stars due to weather conditions tonight’s lunar eclipse was unfortunately cloud blocked. i’m cloud blocked from my point of view.

• southern man

  a man who will, open doors for you, tell you you’re beautiful, and love you so hard you can’t see straight. the only man that can steal your heart, smash it to a thousand pieces, and hand it back to you, only to have you say thank you, because he was just so d-mn nice […]

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