hipstertarian

a young, trendy libertarian in his/her late teens, 20s, or early 30s who jumped on the bandwagon during the height of ron paul, rand paul, and bob barr’s popularity. this person is usually of an upper-cl-ss or upper-middle cl-ss background and is more or less a conservative republican at heart, but doesn’t want to identify as such, for fear of being ostracized and kicked out of parties with free drugs and access to beautiful people of the opposite s-x. while identifying as “libertarian”, this person usually believes in many positions of the mainstream republican party and may be staunchly pro-life, staunchly anti-immigration, and a supporter of fox news and a.m. talk radio. hipstertarians may have tattoos, piercings, and a penchant for drinking and can often go unnoticed. additionally, their horrible fashion sense, effeminate behavior, and kings of leon lp collections make them blend in with liberal, anarchist, and apolitical hipsters. -ssuming you reign in your knee-jerk urge to beat them senseless, please remind them in a calm and eloquent fashion that ron paul is, in fact, a paleo-conservative and not a libertarian, and that their entire life is a bloated, phantasmagorical sham that caught aids and died in the back of a thrift store.
not only does that weird indie chick have a rat tail and a calvin & hobbs tattoo on her thigh, she’s also a fox news-loving hipstertarian!