Hollywood Video
a national corporation that rents and sells movies and games. also will take trade ins and can pre order prouct you wish to own in the near or distant future as long as you give the company a down payment. typically known for ruining your night by attempting to stick a bendy straw in your wallet and sucking the life out of it when you just want to rent the movie “teeth” or perhaps “next friday”… your preference. either way, the purpose of this company was once to give you two bags of popcorn, a candy and a drink with 2 movies for just $9.99. say goodbye to that because now a customer must….
buy playguard: put a quarter on your disc in case you want to play frisbee, feed it to the dog or sit on it because your fat. then you wont need to pay for it.
trade ins: buy a game for $60 and bring it back a week later to trade it in and recieve $20 store credit so you can buy something else. but don’t think about buying that game you just traded in because its back on the shelf for $50. also, if you’re elderly and seeking vhs tapes, hollywood will still har-ss you for your game trade ins.
buy powerplay: want to rent something for one night for $4.85? especially when the last time you rented was 3 years agao? nahhh… buy hollywood’s monthly charge program where you pay for so many rentals ahead of time (for a little cheaper), but they’ll still hit you up for extra charges when you come back in.
concessions: they’re going to save you $.20 to buy a popcorn, candy and drink all together. what a save!
….well aside from the great experience you’ll have while checking out you may also experience such things but not limited to….
employees fighting with recylced printers and computer monitors and vacc-ms.
employees getting fired and humiliated by life sucking district managers.
old senile men and women who look like men complaining about late fees of movies “they never rented”.
movie screeners that play over and over and over the same d-mn music and movie advertis-m-nts that get wicked annoying.
oc-ssionally, employees that are morons and have no lives. apologies to those who get the cr-ppy person who rings you out.
….. hollywood video. a company that thinks netflix and ondemand is inconvenient and stupid. well, i have a feeling hollywood will not get the last laugh. enjoy your entertainment experience while it lasts 🙂
john: hey jane want to go to hollywood video and rent a flick?
jane: i better get the lube out.
a movie/video game rental place that got its -ss kicked by netflix and redbox. so now, it’s out of business. blockbuster will soon go the way of hollywood video!
person 1: i’m going to hollywood video. wanna come with me?
person 2: hollywood video went out of business.
person 1: it did?
person 2: yeah, it did! a couple of years ago! netflix and redbox kicked its -ss. blockbuster is next!
person 1: maybe i should give netflix a try.
person 2 (to himself): what an old-fashioned jerk!
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