homoantiqophobe
these guys are h-m-phobic and are also terrified of antique shops. they are extremely concerned about being perceived as gay and they try to cover it up by standing with their arms crossed looking into sp-ce. sometimes they whistle. if there are other h-m-antiqophobes in the store, they stand and talk about useless sports scores. it is fun to try to talk about antiques with them. they usually have nra or nfl jerseys and caps on.
“get a load of the h-m-antiqophobes over there. watch this: “hey, handsome, check out these lovely teacups and saucers.” “hey, i’m not gay. okay?” man, these guys must love victoria’s secret.
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