Hostage vegan


(noun) an otherwise omnivorous or culinarily ambivalent person who does not consume, use or eat any animal products, not out of moral protest or comp-ssion for animals, but through persistent force of their girlfriend’s will (the hostage vegan can be male, female, or transgendered, but the captor is generally female.)

(note: plural ‘hostage vegans’ is practically impossible except in open/poly relationships)
miniature torches kept several trays of pulled pork and arracheras warm, but despite his hunger, darren, a hostage vegan of three months, waited in the corner with his arms crossed, turning down various plates p-ssed his way by well-intending party-goers, idly checking his phone to see if rachel, his girlfriend, had texted.

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