House on a Finger


a very large, very expensive ring bought for one’s wife as a bribe. the ring makes the statement, “i’ve cheated on you, but you and i both know that i can buy your forgiveness because we are both shallow f-cks.”
kobe bryant: here, baby…i hope this house on a finger makes up for the fact that i forced -n-l s-x on a hotel worker and violated our marriage vows all in the same stroke.

(or)

tiger woods: here baby…i hope this house on a finger makes up for all the sk-nk tapping i’ve been doing lately. please don’t beat my -ss with a golf club anymore…

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