House Rapeipede
a close cousin of the house centipede, the house rapeipede roams north american suburban homes and eliminates common pests. however, unlike its close cousin that consumes pests such as spiders and roaches in a manner tolerated by homeowners, the rapeipede horrifies homeowners by raping unsuspecting insects to death. the rapeipede then consumes the insect.
the house rapeipede’s mating rituals consist of a carefully ch-r-ographed mating dance followed by an onslaught of tumultuous raping, usually lasting several hours and occurring most often in the family dining room, usually during a large dinner party that will reflect heavily upon the host family’s social image.
a female rapeipede can lay up to several hundred eggs at a time. a young rapeipede is not fully capable of total rape until it has at least six legs. until then, it is only capable of partial rape, which is usually considered a misdemeanor in most states.
if it weren’t for those d-mn house rapeipedes raping tumultuously on our dining room carpet, my wife would have gotten that county school board position.
Read Also:
- Clopher
the fan pairing of doctor claire saunders and christopher “topher” brink; both characters from the hit sci-fi series dollhouse. clopher’s relationship often flitted between hatred, friendship (well, tolerance) and unrequited love. when claire tried to seduce topher, that was total clopher.
- Closet Doug
a secret compet-tive eater bob looked at the pile of brownies he was tempted to devour and realized he was a closet doug.
- Clownshoeing
verb: an act of placing yourself into a conversation/situation that you weren’t invited to by standing very closely to people, or the group of people. noun: he is standing there clownshoeing that guy. you are talking to a guy or girl and the clownsh–r comes over and stands between you, as if they are wearing […]
- clumpeled
wrinkled clumps of items such as laundry. a combination of lump and wrinkled. can also be referred to an inebriated state of a person on the floor. after weeks of throwing her laundry on the floor, they had become a clumpeled mess. after 20 shots of tequila, gidoen was a clumpeled mess on the floor.
- House Spic
a person of hispanic decent that does their best to please white or black americans even if it means disowning their own hispanic ident-ty. this type of hispanic people would change the way they speak, dress, music they listen to, their morals, religion, and even the men/women they date in order to be accepted by […]