I have to text my pig
a modern version of “i have to wash my hair” or “i have to sort my sock drawer”; an obvious excuse and serious blow off that can be employed when standing in front of the person asking you to do something you don’t want to do.
girl: so we’re going to bar 123 after this; do you want to come with us?
guy: aw, i would but i have to text my pig.
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