if a frog had wings


this phrase is used to denote the uselessness of the word “if” after the fact. the entire phrase is usually given as “if a frog had wings, it wouldn’t b-mp its -ss when it hopped”.
from the movie wayne’s world:
c-ssandra: yeah, and if a frog had wings, it wouldn’t b-mp its -ss when it hopped.
wayne: where exactly did you learn english?
c-ssandra: college. and the police academy movies.

a modified form appears in the first season of the drew carey show:

drew: “hey, if a frog had wings… we’d still be screwed, but wouldn’t it be cool?”
that definition isn’t right. the phrase “if a frog had wings, he wouldn’t b-mp his -ss a-hoppin'” means that if a person didn’t have to put up with a lot of sh-t or deal with a sh-tty situation, they wouldn’t. if the frog had wings, he wouldn’t b-mp his -ss a-hoppin’.
jim: hey bob, how come every girl you have s-x with is a real brown bagger?
bob: if a frog had wings…

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