Intramurals


a pathetic display of mediocrity in which “young men” without a shred of athletic talent compete in sports both real (football, soccer, etc) and imaginary (four-door soccer, wtf!). occasionally you will get a kid who may be good enough to be the third alternate on his local high schools jv football, and he will just dominate the field. everyone else though will be sitting on the ground or talking in a corner, so no one will ever really notice.

oh, they also pretty much destroyed the entire system by splitting intramurals into about 50 sections. i don’t even know why they have it anymore.
student #1: “hey guys, its time for intramurals!”

student #2: “sorry, i, uh, forgot my shirt. guess i’ll have to sit this one out”

student #3: “yeah, um, i have a doctor’s note. can’t play.”

student #4: “does this thing even matter anymore? they gutted the whole system so now every session only has about 12 kids in it. and when is the last time they even tried to calculate house points, huh? oh, and how about house meetings, when was the last one of those, 2002? intramurals? ha! i think i’ll just go home instead.”

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