it’s only queer if you’re tied to the pier


derivation: u.s. navy slang. an entreaty used by a desperately h-rny male sailor to get another male sailor to engage in clandestine s-xual activity for the purpose of mutual release. based on the theory that when two guys on a ship with no access to females have s-x, they are not gay, but just helping out a shipmate.
ht2 betz: “dude, if you jack me off, i’ll jack you off.”
ao2 griffin: “no, way, man! that’s gay!”
ht2 betz: “we’ve been at sea for three months, and we won’t see pearl for another three. i’m just saying help a shipmate out. after all, it’s only queer if you’re tied to the pier.”
ao2 griffin: “yeah, i guess you’re right. we could go to the chain locker…”

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