Jane Krakowski Effect
named after the ally mcbeal series actress, this is a condition in which men literally stop in their tracks when looking at a woman that is completely physically stunning and flawless. it is sometimes marked by the loss of peripheral consciousness for hours or days as the male stares transfixed, feeling no pain nor hunger nor any sense of responsibility to attend to necessary matters. in war, the use of ms krakowski directly, via her surrogates, or her images to immobilize the enemy is expressly forbidden under any and all of the geneva convention agreements.
“whoa jake…you zoned out dude. one minute you were fine and the next you were comatose. was it that blonde in the blue miniskirt?”
(still in something of a stupor) “yeah. i think so.”
“jane krakowski effect huh?”
(beside himself now) “is she here? the real one? where?” (jake fades out again lost in a mental image)
“oh the blessing and curse of having the angel jane krakowski and her ilk living amongst us.” (jake’s friend laments)
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